Thursday, May 24, 2012

Ramblings from an Analytical Doughnut Eater

Some questions?

1. Did I eat the donuts at work today because . . .

  1. They were there and available?
  2. I was very hungry and that was the only thing available?
  3. I was sad and thought they would make feel better?
  4. I don’t know, I just ate them.
Answer: D , I don’t know, I just ate them.

2. Why did I go into the lunch room to get the donut?

  1. I was kind of bored when I went in to talk with a co-worker and saw them there.
  2. I happened to walk by the lunch room and saw them there and decided to go see what ones were left.
  3. Both the above
Answer: C, Both the above (I had 2! One in the morning and one in the afternoon.)

Analysis: When I came to work this morning I was not hungry and food was not on my mind.  Someone came into work and announced that there were donuts and coffee from Dunkin Doughnuts in the lunch room.  Mental note made: I do not need a doughnut, I’m not even hungry. Soon another co-worker stops by to say good morning and says “Did I hear someone say there were donuts in lunch room?”. We talk and I get out my Extra Mint Chocolate Chip gum and tell them, “I don’t want a doughnut, I’ll have this instead.”. And mentally I really don’t desire a doughnut and I’m not hungry.

One hour later I walk with another co-worker who is going into the lunch room to get coffee and I follow her in to keep up our conversation. I see the doughnuts. I’m still not hungry and I don’t even think, open up the box, grab a cream stick and begin eating it while we continue our conversation. After thought: Oh crap, why did I do that I wasn’t even hungry.

2:30pm: I walk to the rest room and pass the lunch.  As I pass I look in.  I’m not hungry but I see the box of doughnuts sitting there still. I walk into the lunch room and open the box to see what’s left.  Again, I’m not hungry. Some “force” is moving me there and my brain is blank. I don’t see a one that really appeals to me. I actually think this, but I still pick up a sugar coated, jelly filled doughnut and eat it. And I’m not even hungry.

This is scary.  Is this addiction?

Make one good choice today, it can lead to another! God Bless- Kara Lea

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Standards Too High?

I was once told in a work evaluation that my standards are too high and  that I needed to lower them.  I was floored by that!  I still am, until lately.  (I wish I had asked my supervisor to specifically explain it.)
The last few weeks I've fallen off the weight loss wagon. My attitude is terrible. I'm numb and it's like I'm in a fog.  I think I should'nt eat like this but I walk calmly into the food light and go do it anyway. There are other areas of my life as well that I do well at and then I fall off the wagon. Socially, emotionally, spiritually and physically I am doing great and then I just  . . .??? In those areas too I feel like I'm on the outside looking in and knowing what should be, but I just can't mentally or physically do it.  I just give up and zone out.

I'm trying to figure out why. With the help of so many great blog reads and various web sites I'm beginning to think about my boss's comment on me. Do I have such high standards, especially on myself, that I just eventually burn out without even realizing it.  Am I so hard on myself that I eventually can't live up, subconciously, to my own standards? Is this why I zone out and then eventually gain strength and start over again only to get burned out again?

The scary thing is I don't know if my standards are too high for myself. I don't see them that way if they are.

Do you set your standards too high?

Make one good choice today, it can lead to another! God Bless- Kara Lea